Okay. At the beginning of your post, state which character story you are commenting on. Then type to your hearts content.
One thing, if your going to be critical, it must be POSITIVE and INSIGHTFUL. Like this: (completely made up)
I noticed you used the word 'shiver' alot throughout the same paragraph. This displays repetitive, almost repellingly dull image to the reader because of the word's over use. Maybe you should try to mix it up using words like 'tremble' or 'shaking' to help keep the reader's interest and keep the feeling from your story from getting stale!~
NOT:
Your character's story is boring. Can't you come up with anything better?
^Please keep in mind that the story is the AUTHOR'S creation, about their character and directly from their imaginations! We're all here to have fun TOGETHER. Not to be slaves to eachother. Please...
PFFT. I KNOW THIS WHOLE THING WAS COMMON SENSE. BUT STILL.... I MEAN YOU ARE ALL GREAT WRITERS BUT I HAD TO STATE IT ANYWAY~ HAVE FUN.
